IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME.

Hi loves! I hope you are doing well and keeping safe.

Today's blog post is about something that has affected me throughout my uni/varsity life and I realized that most people in my circle are dealing with this too so I wanted to write about it with hopes that if you are dealing with it you can find something that could be helpful to you or find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. However, I am not a medical professional nor do I have expertise in dealing with the matter or have been clinically diagnosed with it but I will be merely sharing my experience and how I am dealing with it.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia) is a mental health condition. It is an intense, persistent fear of being watched and judged by others.

For people with social anxiety disorder, everyday social interactions cause irrational anxiety, fear, self-consciousness and embarrassment.

I know you are probably thinking "What the hell are you talking about Tey? not you Sweety when you put yourself out there you cannot possibly have social anxiety "well chillllee!... I do.

For you to understand this I will have to take you back to when I was a little girl (Cutie that one). I grew up very shy, I remember when I was young back home when mopping the steps and I see people walking by my house I would run to the house wait for them to pass then go continue with what I was doing. As much as I loved standing in front of a TV during Generations all eyes on me and sing "Queen Queen Queen!!!" because I was obsessed with Queen, I hated outside attention.

Growing up I never felt like I belonged with any group at home or at school, I believe it was because i grew up in the rural area but went to a private school so I was considered "too uptight" or "too boujee" also being shy did not help. Lol. I grew out of my shell S/O to my dad for always encouraging me to be myself and supporting me to aim for the stars but growing out of shell somewhat meant becoming so comfortable being alone.

I can go out with friends or chill with people and have fun but in the morning I will wake up and go through everything that had happened then go through all the emotions wondering 'was I perfect/well-spoken, did I say anything embarrassing or something that could potentially change their perception about me and blah blah blah'...

Yes it could be that I am more worried about my brand which is defined by my reputation. I mean rightfully so I have worked so hard for it and I want people to respect it (and me) and appreciate it.

Acknowledge your problem so you know and understand what you are dealing with.

However I have definitely realized the patterns or events that lead to these attacks. They can be triggered by people and certain set-ups or environment therefor it is important for you to choose the people you associate yourself with and the energies you allow in your space.

Breath!... no body cares. I know sometimes we all think people are watching you but if we are being honest people are busy minding their own business but if they are not they definitely should.

You are not alone pumpkin and it is ok to seek professional help.

XoXo

Tey