I COME BACKK! MENTAL HEALTH "TAP IN"

Hi Ya'll! 🙈

I know I know....Please check me later we got some things to get to lol (read that in Nicki's voice). No for real though, I am so happy I am writing again and I hope that you are doing well and you are keeping safe.

It is almost the end of the year and most people are feeling the year-end-fatigue. 2021 has been a LOT for most, if not all of us and I am just here to check up on you and let you know what's up with me because DAMN shit has been real to say the least.

God has been great no lie. My Jordan year has been nothing but blessings on blessings, my family is healthy, my career is slowly blossoming 🤞, I am healthy and I am excited about the future and yes I am still single haha... I will let you know when that changes *don't hold your breath though*.

Honestly things ain't as rosey as they may sound in the above paragraph. In the past weeks my anxiety has been through the roof. I am one of those people who get really anxious when it's close to their birthday (and the end of the year) because questions like 'am I happy with the woman I am today', 'have I been a good person', and another year passes ' what do I have to show for it' keep me up at night. As much as these questions are suppose to help me reflect and adjust where needed I find myself dwelling in the bad even though the good outweighs the bad.

At this point let's just call a spade a spade - I have IMPOSTER SYNDROM but we are not going to do that because I have already self-dignosed myself with SOCIAL ANXIETY therefor I am not trying to speak a whole bunch of things into my life, AYT!?

Some say that I have done well for "someone my age" and that is funny to me because I have done nothing but chase my dreams and I am nowhere near where I want to be but I am grateful to God for putting the puzzles together.

If you have been feeling some type of way or share the same sentiment as me I just want to let you know that it's OK! it's ok not to be OK. It's OK to be fine today and to not be OK the next day. 2020 and 2021 have been crazy for everyone to say the least .

When I started writing this blog post a week or so ago I was anxious and going through-it all then the following week I was cool and I felt like I shouldn't publish it because y'all know I am authentic with my shit and I am big on expressing myself so I was confused and Indecisive with the direction I wanted to take with this blog post - To cry and have a cry-party with you or to tell you to BOSS UP, YOU GOT THIS and ya da ya ya...

Fact is shit ain't that easy! I allow myself to go through the emotions cry, laugh, whine, or whatever "But still, like dust, I'll rise"(Maya Angelou's words). I just need you to not be your own enemy. I need you to be kind to yourself and for you to believe that everything that is happening to you right now is simply preparing you for your future and your dreams.

You're doing fine, doing your best and that is enough.

You are probably at war with yourself and feeling like you haven't done enough yet merely because, here comes the cliché, the pressure of social media. I believe that how you are feeling right now partly has something to do with the way you have been speaking to yourself and your thoughts, you know the sayings YOU GOT THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH IN YOUR TONGUE and MIND OVER MATTER.

Granted it is not always easy to be optimistic especially because our brains are 'wired' to always think about the worst. My bet is that is because of ones past - if there was a point in your life that you never had it easy fear will always take you back to that place when good things happen to/for you but what matters is you being brave enough to rise about that and believing that you deserve the life you dream of and that you deserve second chances.

Yikes that got tense huh!?!

Anyway please practise gratitude and be kind to yourself. I am so proud of us I mean look at you killing it and holding yourself down like a true champ!

PS: Please checkout my latest Youtube video and see me go through it

XoXo